i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
