in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
