I hate your face
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize