If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
