I think my fart just growled at me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
