I want you more than these girls want KFC
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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