I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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