They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
