So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
