I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
