That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
