so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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