1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
