i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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