You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
