she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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