If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
