but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
