Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
