Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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