Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
