we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize