who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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