she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
