i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
