Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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