You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
