i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
