Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
