I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
