What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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