Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize