Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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