If that was your dad, he is hot
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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