It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
