Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
