You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize