batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
