the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
