Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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