Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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