I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
