My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize