and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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