So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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