If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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