in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
