Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
