i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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