I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
