At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
