Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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