Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
