let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
