I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
