you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
no you cant smoke seaweed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize