Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
