you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize