there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
