I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
