thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
