Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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