IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize