Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
