you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
