is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
